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Hello First Topic. ADHD and friends


Posted by TheJ

Hello My name is Jagr (not really but lets use this for now). I am 18 years old and I have a lot of friends... when I am at school (I go to High School and it is my last year). They all like me and I like all of them. I don't do any drugs so it's not that "classic druggy case".

Now that's the good part. Here is the problem. I am a respected person in the gaming communities and spend lots of time on PC. I don't get invited to parties or to just "hangout" with friends. I don't know why this is.

I can makes lots of friends fast for short periods of time but I can't seem to keep friends for more than a couple of months.

 Ask me if you want me to give some more detail. I will be happy to provide them.

 

My first time here and just want some help. 

 
Comments (1)
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Hi! I'm 29 years and I discovered that I have HDAD when I was about 24. Since then, I did not pay much attention to how I could manage it. I tried medicine, but I could not tell the results because I was taking medicine for depression at the same time.

Jagr, I think it is awsome that you know you have HDAD with 18 years old. But I'm gonna tell you: living with HDAD demands a lot of work. You already see the bad consequenses. You see yourself isolating. I know it manifasts differently in women and man.

I know that we can sometimes develop behaviors that pushes people away (talking too much, not answering phones, being disorganized), but we can diminish these "bad habits" using tools to help us. I, for example, was never able to organize my schedule. I would always arrive late and miss appointments. Then I researched at the Web and the answer was simple: have an agenda. It was very hard for me, but today I sit down, focus, and write my schedule for the week, always in advance, how it was adviced.

But going back to you... try to understand why is that you can't keep a friend for more than a month. Be honest with yourself. Ask your family members... And start working on it! Sometimes it is a simple thing as talking too much. Sometimes it is just because you're spending too much time in virtual communities than real ones (I don't want to sound like your mom :)". After that, try to be the one to invite people to do things. But not what only you like and makes you comfortable, but common stuff that friends do.

See, I'm not a doctor, I might be wrong. But there is no easy way. Nobody will take HDAD as an excuse, which mean that society will expect from you what they expect from anybody. You will have to find a way to adapt.

When I was your age, I had a lot of friends, but they all knew I had "my moments", which meant that I would be out of reach for some time (it was the time I was too anxious). Everybody respected that, because I'd always make efforts to try helping them and listening to them.

 I hope I helped you!

 Be happy! :)

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