For the past four years he and I have had this very nice “You don’t fuck with me, I won’t fuck with you” thing going on. Unlike other doctors in my past who wanted to monitor my social drinking & scrutinize my familial relationships, he really believes that A.D.D. exists and that I have it.
So last week I was floored when he initiated conversation on the very topic I’ve been biting my tongue about. He said a number of his other patients have complained about the round Adderall being inferior and he was wondering if I’d noticed any difference between it and the old kind. Of course, I then told him about all the negative side effects, how it turns me into a mindless drone, but it’s still slightly better than nothing because it at least prevents me from bouncing off the walls while I’m trying to analyze data and/or write about it.
After our appointment, I went upstairs to fill my prescription and I was doubly ecstatic to find out my pharmacy had switched back to the old orange/peach colored generics by Barr Laboratories.
Ever since my grad student insurance stopped covering off-campus pharmacies, I haven’t been able to afford to go to CVS or Wal-Mart for the Barr generics. So the other day after I filled my prescription was my first time with a non-crappy Adderall in over a year, and, I have to say, any doubts I’d had about the differences are completely gone. That pink shit really just makes me hate life. It also kind of changes who I am as a person, to some degree. For instance, I was always a casual horse racing fan, but for some reason over the last year (right about the time I had to switch permanently to CorePharma pink Adderall), I suddenly became totally obsessed with it. I mean, like, obsessed, as in, starting a new blog about it, making my own custom spreadsheets, trying to devise fancy new speed figures. It really is crazy how much time I’ve spent analyzing Past Performances, and how little time I’ve spent on the things that used to interest me before, such as politics, this blog, science and history, etc. Honestly, if the government wants a way to squash all dissent, they should totally just feed the shitty pink Adderall to the Michael Moores of the world. It really makes you not fucking care. At all.
And now, how strange that it only takes one week of being off of that stuff and suddenly it’s like awoken from a coma. I feel sharper, and able to think outside the box again. And I’m disgusted with how inert I’ve been since that awful CorePharma brand got inside me.
Anyway, I hope this isn’t just a temporary one-month thing with my pharmacy, and that the switch back to Barr (or to any other alternative to the pink CorePharma Adderall) will be permanent.
My doctor asked why I didn’t mention anything to him sooner, and I guess I really definitely should have. And you should too, if you’re among the hundreds of people who’ve commented on my other posts (linked to throughout this entry) that these differences are real and not just in our heads.
Even if you’re afraid to talk to your doctor about it, as I was, just keep talking about it to someone, anyone who will listen. And don’t let the bastards get you down, or convince you it’s your fault.
As for horse racing, I feel like I’m totally not into it. Seriously. There were several major, Grade I, Breeders’ Cup Win & You’re In races in Canada on Saturday, and I haven’teven bothered to check the website to find out who won. Yet somehow, there are still those who say the differences between these two generics are miniscule, or imagined. I’m sorry but, with due respect to those simpletons, this is no placebo! If my passions and hobbies completely change depending on which generic medicine is cheaper for my pharmacy that month, the two medications are not interchangable!